Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Damn.. We quarreled again. This time i really feel so tired of it.
I couldnt stand it anymore. Accusation and without trust. That's what i feel
all this while. All along while working, you always felt insecure about our
relationship. I've tried to assure you time and time. Everything turned bad
again after that. Then i need to reassure you again. You are tired of thinking
and so am i. I am tired of repeating all these assurance. You told me things
which you hate. I assured you that i wouldnt do it again. Of course at first i will
feel angry that i have to change. After that, i will understand why i need to change
for you. I assured. But the next day, you came warning me to know my stand.
Told me that if anything turns awry, you wont stand by and suffer but you will
wash your hands and leave. Do you know that by saying this, you do not have
trust in me ? Do you know that by saying this, i felt that all my assurance made
before, had gone to waste ? Because you still think that things will go awry
instead of things going right. I know you get jealous because you care and love
me. I do get jealous at times. I dont like us to raise our temper just because of
useless problems like this. I assured you and you dont think so much ?
I really dont know what else to do. Im really lost. Whatever i did, you hate it.
I dont know what else i will do that will make you happy. Since you also said
that the both of us were different, i will take note of what you hate. I apologised.
I said that i wont repeat it again. But why keep rubbing into that problem ?
I even thought of breaking up with you since we were both tired of this
relationship. But i dont know why i feel so heart ache that i couldnt tell you
that. Memories kept running into my head. Those smiles we had just couldnt
stop playing. I couldnt bear to say it. This is the first time im feeling like this.
Sigh..
Looks like you remembered every single wrong doing of mine. Until today
you wont be able to forget and move forward. Not even to trust me.
Im always the one at fault. I'd told you. Yet you didnt believe. Now, you
yourself is stating it to me. "you let me down".
How i wish i can think anew. Something is stoping me. Everything is my fault.
It had been me... Im the culprit to spoil this relationship. ITS ME.
1.22AM
Need to ease my pain. ¶ 12:48 AM
I couldnt stand it anymore. Accusation and without trust. That's what i feel
all this while. All along while working, you always felt insecure about our
relationship. I've tried to assure you time and time. Everything turned bad
again after that. Then i need to reassure you again. You are tired of thinking
and so am i. I am tired of repeating all these assurance. You told me things
which you hate. I assured you that i wouldnt do it again. Of course at first i will
feel angry that i have to change. After that, i will understand why i need to change
for you. I assured. But the next day, you came warning me to know my stand.
Told me that if anything turns awry, you wont stand by and suffer but you will
wash your hands and leave. Do you know that by saying this, you do not have
trust in me ? Do you know that by saying this, i felt that all my assurance made
before, had gone to waste ? Because you still think that things will go awry
instead of things going right. I know you get jealous because you care and love
me. I do get jealous at times. I dont like us to raise our temper just because of
useless problems like this. I assured you and you dont think so much ?
I really dont know what else to do. Im really lost. Whatever i did, you hate it.
I dont know what else i will do that will make you happy. Since you also said
that the both of us were different, i will take note of what you hate. I apologised.
I said that i wont repeat it again. But why keep rubbing into that problem ?
I even thought of breaking up with you since we were both tired of this
relationship. But i dont know why i feel so heart ache that i couldnt tell you
that. Memories kept running into my head. Those smiles we had just couldnt
stop playing. I couldnt bear to say it. This is the first time im feeling like this.
Sigh..
Looks like you remembered every single wrong doing of mine. Until today
you wont be able to forget and move forward. Not even to trust me.
Im always the one at fault. I'd told you. Yet you didnt believe. Now, you
yourself is stating it to me. "you let me down".
How i wish i can think anew. Something is stoping me. Everything is my fault.
It had been me... Im the culprit to spoil this relationship. ITS ME.
1.22AM
Need to ease my pain. ¶ 12:48 AM
